i can't let it out

i still want you in.

tall enough

Where is the person who has your heart?

jeez i don't even know where my heart is these days.

i'm not even

looking for love. i found it,i had it in my grasp,and then I discovered it's evil twin,karma. i don't plan to fall in love ever again,nor try to. so spare me your sugar coated words and gestures of lust newbie,you don't even know what you're getting yourself into.

yea

I can't sleep. Simply looking at your damn picture is like a jab to my heart. When will I ever start to feel better? But hey,I can't say I didn't try. I put my self out there,I did what you said I should do,I went after what I wanted. and what happened...? Remind never to put forth even minimal effort. Maybe I'll come around in another 10 years or so, when everyone figures out what they want. Until then, I'm checked out on the emotional level.

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!

I have no spine,I have no guts. I've lost the ability to contain any feelings of animosity for more than a couple seconds.I don't stand up to you and I suffer through your degrading behavior. I have NEVER been one to settle for less. Old me,where the hell have you been?

live through this,and you won't look back

Time is lagging in dull lurches,i want things to speed up. Nostalgia is like a vacuum,sucking the marrow out of my life.

i began to realize

that when something so violent hits you,you can't help but lose your balance & fall. And after you pick yourself up,you realize you can't trust anybody to save you-not your best friend,not your lover,not your family,not God. So what can you do to stop yourself from tilting and falling all over again?

i'm done

with this negative shit. it seems that for the past two months all i've done is go to school,go to work,& mope around. Graduation is just around the corner,& although i am ITCHING to get out of this garbage dump,i'm not going to sit around and waste it all away. i can't. i've been using up all my energy being depressed because of jorge,when really i should just let go of it,move on & LIVE!
New Years Resolution: stay positive.


but i love me more.
holla at yo guuuuurl!

lessons learned

you said i taught you how to trust,how to care,how to love...
it's a shame that the only thing you didn't learn is how to take a chance with me.

YOU taught me how to trust myself,so i know i deserve better,and i'm slowly working my way out of this heartache.

I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved."

~Shana Abé~