going nowhere fast

I constantly feel this pull between letting you go & between letting you work your way into becoming a bigger presence in my life. The distance proves alot; you obviously never realized how much a part of your life i was until I was no longer there. I feel disappointment after every phone call. It's silly to want something that is no longer there,to wish you were someone you no longer are. Every light & playful conversation brings us back to a topic that I want dead and buried. I don't censor my words; I tell you exactly what I want,when I want. That seems to help move us forward,when I feel that we're going nowhere fast.