f.i.i.l.

friday i'm in love
friday i'm in love.
friday,i'm in love.

i want to see The Cure @ C-fest soooo bad.
anyone wanna come?

:pp

virtues.

patience is something i struggle with.

3.26.09

right,left,right,left.
i am slowly walking myself out of this slump and back to my normal estefania self.

etc.

life and death,energy and peace.
if i stop today,it'll still be worth it.
even all the terrible mistakes i've made,and unmade if i could.
the pains that have burned me and scarred my soul,it was worth it.
for having been allowed to walk
where i have walked,
which was to hell on earth,
heaven on earth,
back again,into
under.
far in between
through it,& above.

dot dot dot...

it's been a month or two since i've seen your face. the smile that always made me feel right at home. the smile that told me everything was going to be alright. i try to tell myself that i don't miss you,and i'm getting pretty good at it.

amilying?

e v e r y d a y

you think i'm the one who shuts everyone out but maybe you didn't try very hard to stay in . no phone calls or conversations came my way. you said we should stop this and try to be better,but i don't see any difference,and i guess that's my fault too. and i'm the reason i'm unhappy right?

>.<

That is the way it is with a wound. The wound begins to close in on itself,to protect what is hurting so much. And once it is closed,you no longer see what is underneath,what started the pain...

the joy luck club

"What was worse,we asked among ourselves,to sit and wait for our own deaths with proper somber faces? Or to choose our own happiness?"

just becasue i'm losing,doesn't mean i'm lost.

so i've been trying to keep my head & be strong. it gets harder & harder,but i'm not giving in. i just have to believe that although because i'm in the gutter,that doesn't mean i can't look at the stars...

on my way,

hands down,i'm too proud for love. but with eyes shut it's you i'm thinking of. but how we move from A to B it can't be up to me. cause you don't know who i was before you,basically to see a change in me. i'd be losing,so i just ignore you,yeah. but you're on my mind,my mind,my mind,my mind. and maybe in time time time i'll tell you. but you're on my mindmindmind....

...

i never thought it'd have to be like that. i've always seen the good in you,& given you the benefit of the doubt.but you can't see or don't bother to try to understand what i'm doing.you make me feel like i can't breathe,& this time it's not in a good way.one day you'll realize what you've done to me,and you'll need me,but i won't be there.
neveragain.

-my dream boy is a fallacy.

never.

i have a list of 13 things it's perfectly okay not do to in life and writing a blog is on it.

hell,even reading a blog.

ha,oh well.