dear miss alice,

i've been fooled. i find myself running backwards to protect my own heart.it was only a few weeks ago that i found myself spinning in porcelain tea cups. What have i allowed myself to do? i refuse to play games with my heart. i REFUSE. i've always been in charge in all situations,is now the time i step back? do i give him the benefit of the doubt? assumptions haven't gotten me far. he's become sneakier than the chesire cat, & i feel tiny in this grand scheme of things. we're running out of time,he's running out of time. he's been running out of time. it's no use chasing after something i'm not ever going to get back.
i've given up on my idea of a wonderland.