summerlovin'

i don't understand this mess of emotions i'm in. i was doing soooo well,being happy. summer always ruins things for me,or do i ruin things for myself? there's a funny thing about me,& i know it all too well. i can understand and analyze and predict the exact outcome of my crazy,self-destructive behavior,and go ahead and do it anyways. it's called pre-mediation,and it causes people to go to jail for their whole lives,as opposed to a couple of years.