i plan to confront you,eventually. about how you see avoidance as normal,& i see it as a warning. how we don't know how to talk to each other anymore,how in protecting our own territory we've lost common ground. before it's too late,i plan to say that whatever kind of love has brought us together is dwindling and tearing us apart. at times,i've feared that it will never overflow into plenty,that its enough for now,but not forever.

Here it is. I saw potential in you. I was the hope in your life. But really,I just wore myself better than you did. The only difference between us is that I know I'll be okay,that I can do what I have to do and that I'm a good person that other people can count on. But you unraveled that. You had a good soul;the problem is that you don't know it yourself. You don't have the words. Nobody has ever held up a mirror to you and said,"Look,you are a good person,you can do this." I saw inside you when you thought I wasn't looking,and what I saw was this amazing person. You thought I saw otherwise,that I looked down on you,but that isn't right. The truth is,you look down on yourself. You're afraid of exploring beyond your own cubbyhole,of meeting anybody's expectations. I'm tired of trying to change you. Its ridiculous,attempting to make someone they're simply not. But you know what mattered most? I believed in you,& I believed you capable of being a better person. I wasn't pretending.

It's time to face the addict that's inside of me. I deserve better. You're slowly pushing me away; thank you,it'll be a clean break.

You can say I'm stuck in a mold & I don't care,I'd choose solitude over keeping up with the rest of you assholes any day.

i'd rather

you just cut me loose now,than let me fade away.
i don't do well in grey areas...

i feel lost in the labyrinth of YOU. tell me something,lion of my soul,when are we EVER going to stop this? whatever happens,i don't care if my heart is broken as long as my soul is at peace...

people believe all things are true and false,yin and yang. why doesn't anything else matter? why do we blindly follow and not question the world in which we live?

the reason why

like ivy,you creep back,latching onto the chambers in my heart,leeching onto the safety of my soul,then slithering through my veins and out my pores.

i've started running. i don't give a damn anymore about keeping my expectations in check. i'm surrendering myself completely to hope. i'm elated. i know that what i believe is what i'll find.

and i know,i KNOW.
you have an indelible memory.you can never forget a thing! well,let me tell you,your recollection of every last detail has nothing to do with memory. it's called holding a goddamn grudge.

fate

from the latin root "fatal"


i'm cut loose,untethered,not belonging to anyone or anything.

love shmlove

who needs it?
this is why i've always kept my mouth shut.

me myself&i

You were happy once; you were sunshine and smiles and a brightness that radiated. You may be cloudy now, you may not want to sing. You may just want to fold inside of yourself, on the oldest couch you can find, by the biggest window, and watch it rain.
You used to find that little things made you happy; now you can’t even find the big things. Somehow, along the way, you lost yourself.
One foot in front of the other, and you will find your way back.

nothing but a miracle

"love is a trap. when it appears we see only its light,not its shadows."



please,i wish i could vent properly.

throughout this whole time, the second he was giving up,I was deeply blaming myself. As if, every stunt he pulled was my fault.I'm here questioning God,wondering if something was wrong with ME! I don't understand, how it is so easy for someone to push aside their feelings, let alone HIDE how they truly feel about you, because they’re just afraid of being put in the same old predicament. MOVE ON,LET IT GO. So they accept the next person that can fill their emptiness. Then I'm here on the other end thinking,WAS I NOT ENOUGH? Now I feel like all my hard work, time & effort was completely stripped out of my hands. & I have no control over it. Am I the one with the problem?
But in conclusion,it's not me. Its him.
I'm just generous with love. He’s the one who’s addicted to the idea of finding it,even though it's right in front of him.

& you know what?
That's not MY problem.