this is something i had wanted,and yet i woke up feeling nothing.

fuck you,dm!

m:"when i heard your voice,it sounded like someone died."
s:"someone did....me."


I am completely devoid of emotion,i can only blame myself. Something you said in passing broke me between the sheets, back when I gave my love away like some sort of pseudo-insurance. It feels like my bones are hollow and affection only makes me sink deeper into my own skin. I know that these are defenses;you called me compassionless. we have that thing in common. i suppose we'll keep breaking each other's hearts until we can feel our own.

she hates everybody

sigh,

-"i told you not to fall in love with me"


-"and i told you i wouldn't be able to help it. its your fault."

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

october 4th,2006
april 18th,2008
june 20th,2008
may 30th,2009
october 29th,2009
december 26th,2009


dates i'd like to forget.

you just see the good.

i'm not so sure you can handle the bad.

can't catch a damn break

ever get that moment where everything seems perfect,and then one thing makes it come crashing down? is that bad of me,that i find deal breakers in situtations,that i find that something that crosses the boundary between perfect and dismal? i don't know what to think,i feel at times i'm being too severe,and others too lenient. god damn,i just want some balance and stability,thats all i ask,please?

3/10/2010
10:08 PM Paul:
You are amazing<3
……………………………………………………………………
10:09 PM estefania:
<3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
……………………………………………………………………
10:10 PM Paul:
You are gorgeous<3
……………………………………………………………………
10:11 PM Paul:
You are MIIIIIIINE!

i meant what i said,

and i'm not taking it back !

i can't let it out

i still want you in.

tall enough

Where is the person who has your heart?

jeez i don't even know where my heart is these days.

i'm not even

looking for love. i found it,i had it in my grasp,and then I discovered it's evil twin,karma. i don't plan to fall in love ever again,nor try to. so spare me your sugar coated words and gestures of lust newbie,you don't even know what you're getting yourself into.

yea

I can't sleep. Simply looking at your damn picture is like a jab to my heart. When will I ever start to feel better? But hey,I can't say I didn't try. I put my self out there,I did what you said I should do,I went after what I wanted. and what happened...? Remind never to put forth even minimal effort. Maybe I'll come around in another 10 years or so, when everyone figures out what they want. Until then, I'm checked out on the emotional level.

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!

I have no spine,I have no guts. I've lost the ability to contain any feelings of animosity for more than a couple seconds.I don't stand up to you and I suffer through your degrading behavior. I have NEVER been one to settle for less. Old me,where the hell have you been?